Copy & Paste: The most effective way to date

Deeply submerged beneath the sea of men who think rape jokes are first date material (or joke material, or funny at all...), people who think randomness is the pinnacle of humor, and those who try to impress us by flinging insults is an entirely different breed of men. Somewhere, in a universe where I haven't seen everything and am completely unimpressed by the stupidity involved in dating, I lose sleep over these people.

If any of you are reading this, I have so many questions. If you're looking for casual sex: why would anyone fuck you after reading ten paragraphs of self-centered, impersonal drivel? If you're looking for a meaningful relationship, why are you sending this bullshit? I can't imagine any circumstance where I would find it meaningful to reply to someone who sends 50 women a generic message in the hopes that one is stupid enough.

Especially if you're ugly.

Okay, okay. I won't be shallow. Dear Cool-Cloud, in which "cool" refers to the temperature of the vajayjays of each woman you contact: I, the wonderful and kind Ashley, offer you redemption.

Nevermind. I don't really have anything clever to say anymore, so basically he's also an awful person.