Dear Men,
If, in the past, we broke up: it was for a reason. Do not continue to message me a year later about how we should give it another go. No, we shouldn't, because you're the douchebag who fucked it up in the first place. Also, you're probably just upset about not getting any- so please go date someone and leave me alone.
If we fuck on the first date, it was probably because I was just looking for sex anyway. Therefore, you do not have to spoon-feed me the lies that dudes are supposed to tell chicks, like "I'm going to be really busy for the next month..." I get it. I'm not planning to be your fucking girlfriend. Be real for once. Fuck.
You do not need to buy Magnum condoms for your seven inch dick. I don't even know why guys do this.
AND CAN WE PLEASE JUST KEEP OUR GOD DAMN ERECTIONS FOR ONCE. I feel like no one told me about this phenomenon.
Also, I would still like an honest answer about whether or not "blue balls" is a real thing or just a masterfully used device to pressure women.
Thanks for the rage, bitterness, and unsatisfying sex.
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