Take Care

There's a phrase that's been bugging the shit out of me recently, having to do with "taking care" of oneself.

What bugs me is a certain context in which it's used: "I take care of myself, you should, too." or "I expect a woman to take pride in taking care of herself."

This is code for a less eloquent phrase that is used by more blunt individuals: "No fatties."

Here's my dilemma with the phrasing: it implies that the writer genuinely cares about your well-being, when that is obviously not the case. You can take care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, interpersonally, etc. Furthermore, taking care of yourself physically often has nothing to do with being thin/physically fit, but rather with feeling your best and sometimes, having a physician who tells you as much. But of course, your state of physical well-being is also NO ONE's business but yours and your doctor's.

So yes, I take care of myself. But not in the way you're implying, mister. I take care to guard myself against people who make me feel imperfect or degrade me for looking the way I do. I've taken care to cut people out of my life who consider my body their business. I take GREAT care of myself, actually.

I work extremely hard to take care of myself. As someone who struggles with a mental illness that can become debilitating if untreated, I will probably have to put a lot of effort into taking care of myself for the rest of my life. So the fact that you go to the gym? Doesn't really impress me.

You know what I'd have to do to be skinny? Starve myself. Go to the gym every day. Take time out of my life to fit into your mold. And some things are more important to me than being thin. Like taking care of myself.